What Was Normal?

I was trying to work out how different I feel on medication to how I was before I started any.
I had been on so many different medications that did nothing but give me side effects before I was put on the Fentanyl that helps the pain a bit with the least side effects so far.
These are the first painkillers that helped the pain at all, even if not completely although I know I will never get to that point and I do not wish to increase the dose any further so I have room to increase down the line if the pain gets worse or when my body gets used to the drug.
I just can’t remember what “normal” was for me before I started any medication.
I have always been tired all the time due to the chronic fatigue, and since starting medication I am sleeping a lot more but I can’t work out how much more tired I am now to what I was before.
My concentration is worse than before but again I cannot remember what “normal” was before, but I know it has definitely changed.

It just annoys me that I can’t remember my normal was due to being on so many different horrible mediation between then and now. Now being on something that does something for the pain with the least side effects so far, yet still changing how I feel.

I know I sleep a lot more now but not sure if that is partly because my mood is much lower now due to “what’s the point in getting out of bed” feeling when you have nothing to do but sit and hurt, or whether I just am that much more tired than before.
I struggle to concentrate and I know that is the medication but if the doctor asked me how much has it affected me, I would have no idea as I don’t remember “normal” without being on some form of painkiller.
My anxiety is worse on the patches too but there is nothing else that works so far.

I know cannabis helps the pain which is available on medical prescription on the NHS but impossible to get for chronic pain, plus they barely ever prescribe it anyway as they are just not informed. That would be better than living on awful opiates!

You are choosing between living in severe pain, or living with a bit less pain but having some side effects such as tiredness, bad concentration etc.

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