Disabled And Often Treated As Though I Am Stupid Or a Child

Sadly, I know that lots of disabled people have experienced this and it isn’t nice.
I deal with this usually daily or at least every other day or so.

Some people when speaking to you, both verbally or via typing, speak to you as though they are speaking to a child or an idiot. This even has a name, called infantilization.

The ones that shout while talking after they find out you’re disabled or treat to you like you can’t add 1+1 together.

I get this a lot. If I say something has broken, for instance the fridge breaking, broken gutter still broken years later or the toilet which started leaking recently, I get treated by some as though I am a total idiot and don’t know what to do or how to ask for help.

The one that I get treated the most like a child with, is when I say I can’t get more than my little over £300 a month PIP. That brings out lots of these people who treat you like a child out.
I can guarantee that if I reply to say a newspaper account on Twitter, I will get some who are trying to help, BUT also the ones that talk to you like an idiot. Usually multiple people, not one or two, and this is all the time. It is horrible and I hate it.

You do realise that I became disabled as my chronic illnesses worsened over decades. I used to be fine and worked out for an hour a day 6 days a week, then walked 15 miles 5 days a week. I had various jobs and all but one were skilled jobs. I worked for years until I couldn’t work anymore. I am not stupid. I am just in a hell of a lot of pain, extremely fatigued and barely able to move an inch. I am not a child or stupid.

I do understand that some disabled people have decreased mental disabilities that do affect their ability to do some things and sometimes they do need regular help. But I have never said I have any mental disabilities as I don’t! I do have chronic fatigue which DOES affect my memory when fatigued and brain fog is very much a thing, but that is not the same as a mental disability.
But either way, no one should be treated like a child and people can and should be asked what they can and cannot do and asked if they need or want help!

Don’t assume someone can’t do something and treat like them a child because they are disabled. You can always ask if they need help but don’t treat someone like they have the mental capacity of a young child.

Infantilization is very much a thing and is where people get spoken to or treated like a child.
It is very common within the disability world as some people just hear the word disabled and assume the person will be in a wheelchair and unable to speak or think correctly. That is a sad but true assumption by many abled people when they hear the word disabled.

I know so many other disabled people online who have also suffered this. Even a search online gets you a lot of hits about disabled people who have been treated like a child.

When someone finds out you are disabled or chronically ill, they often:

  • shout at you as though you are 100 feet away,
  • talk to you with baby speak such as “aww good job!” or things like that,
  • assume you can’t calculate things,
  • assume you don’t know how to do day to day things and offer unwanted help for things you have already done or can’t do for other reasons,
  • assuming you can’t or don’t know how to speak to citizens advice or DWP,
  • tell you what you should do rather than ask if you need help

And many more examples, too many to list!

Just because I am chronically ill and disabled doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to do things.
You could always just ask what I can or can’t do (or read it on here). Please don’t assume I am stupid as I am not.

Yes speaking is hard for me now as it drains my energy in seconds due to chronic fatigue. (Even more reason to not do this as I have to type to reply to your infantilization)
Yes typing is hard as it is extremely painful and also drains my energy rapidly. (This is why I made my FAQ and about me, so I don’t have to type the same answers over and over.)
Yes I can get brain fog.

But even with those things, that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to call the DWP or citizens advice, nor does it mean I don’t know what benefits I can and can’t get as I am very aware of what I can and can’t get which is why it is in my FAQ and About Me as I am tired of having to explain every day or so.

I spent YEARS calling, emailing and researching benefits and even spoke to my MP and parliament many times! I know what I can and can’t get. I don’t need help on that. I am getting all I can!
LISTEN or read what I say instead of trying to argue what YOU think, especially when it is wrong.

I am very transparent about what I can and can’t get but even when I say why I can’t get anymore benefits other than PIP, I still get people treating me like a total idiot assuming that I just haven’t tried.
Even if I reply to them which causes massive pain and fatigue, or if I give them a link to my about me and FAQ, they still tell ask question after question rather than just go read the answer as they assume I am wrong and they are right even though they know nothing.
I despise that with a passion.

PLEASE stop treating disabled or chronically ill people like this!
They are humans just like you. ASK instead of assuming things, and if they tell you something, LISTEN!
We know ourselves better than you and we often know much more in general than you, so please ask and stop the infantilization.

1 thought on “Disabled And Often Treated As Though I Am Stupid Or a Child”

  1. Happy Christmas .Disability is TREATED AS Stupid .Peoples views/judgements very SNOTTY NOSED,. i am Disabled have these judgements all the time.


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